“If a guest (singular) wants to use the gym, they (plural) have to pay for it” has become the new convention. ![]() So the solution became “Ask each student what they want for lunch,” which is technically ungrammatical-because “each student” is a singular antecedent, and they is a plural pronoun-but is now widely accepted as both convenient and respectful to all genders. For example, “Ask each student what he wants for lunch” conveyed the idea that all students were male, but “Ask each student what he or she wants for lunch” was considered clumsy or stilted (my preferred shorthand was s/he). With the discovery of an underlying gender bias in our language-the misleading assumption that all significant people are male-writers and speakers began to substitute the gender-neutral pronouns they and their for the previously ubiquitous he and his, or the grammatically correct but more awkward he or she and his or her. The new respect for women shown in their elevation in society to professional lives and leadership roles has changed the way we use language. Some readers will disagree with me, but we have to pick our battles. I’m talking about the use of they and their pronouns with a singular antecedent for the purpose of avoiding gender bias. But even grammatical nitpickers like me can recognize the need for practical improvements once in a while. ![]() As an old-fashioned grammarian, I tend to resist the frequent bending and breaking of traditional grammar rules by contemporary speakers and writers. Okay, I admit it: I’ve caved on this one.
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